Choosing a dress, flowers, a venue, and planning the perfect wedding is one of the most exciting times of a couple's life. However, the most important part of all of the planning is making sure you are on the same page as your partner in your outlook on major areas you will experience in every day life. Before you walk down the aisle, ask each other the following questions:
-Why are we getting married?
-How do you feel about my religious (or non religious) views?
-What is your view on money? Are you a spender or a saver?
-Should we have a budget? How do you feel about debt?
-Do you want to have children? How many?
-Where will we raise our children?
-What kind of influence will our extended family have in our lives?
-How do you feel about the division of housework?
-Can we talk about sex openly?
-If there is a problem in our sex life, are you comfortable discussing it and dealing with it?
-How will we make decisions about our family?
-When you are upset with me, how do you express that feeling?
-Is it acceptable to yell if you are angry?
-Do you expect me to change?
These are just a sample of the many questions that couples should be asking each other before they walk down the aisle. As a therapist, I recommend coming in to my office to make sure you are on the same page before your big day. You don't have to agree with your partner on every issue, but knowing how to address conflict and compromising are two skills that will take you the distance in your relationship. Not sure if premarital therapy is right for you? Feel free to give me a call and I would be happy to give you an overview of what to expect in my office and how our time together can get you prepared for your big day.
